Friday, September 7, 2012

THE REDZONE CHANNEL: The Meth of Sports Programming

Warning to the Analogy Police: You cant get Blood from a Turnip, the best you can do is force me to pay them damned Parking tickets for which i will most certainly play the Race Card. This post is purely meant to highlight the addictive and innovative quality of a Niche TV Channel, it also pertains to "how" we consume Pro Football and possibly other sports- nothing more, now get off my blog clown.
 
 
There, we have that disclaimer shit out of the way and now we can talk about the NFL (AKA Tha Dopeman) coming back this Sunday ..as if they have to look for your ass!. You know where to find Mr. NFL Dopeman, I'm the sweaty, quivering dude with the pressured speech and bloodshot eyes and I've been waiting for you. Many of you like me have been on all fours scrounging up any tidbit of information on the game, we even participated in massive false rituals (Pre Season Games) for Sunday Mass Prices. Last week the exterminator at my job sat and talked for 20 minutes about his Fantasy Roster and some back up WR from Dallas. That's his "Jone's" and i cant judge homeboy because my high is channel 740, the Redzone Channel. I even turned to it a few times in July just to make sure it was still there-the logo and elevator music was like one of those music boxes that make babies go to sleep, and Daddy was all better.  A lot of times inventions have unintended benefits and the Redzone Channel is rife with them. Honestly i believe it was developed as an adjunct to Fantasy Football geeks to easily track their teams. In my case it allows for Football to be consumed by people who are too damned busy and those who suffer from Attention deficit Disorder; you know the average American. I don't have a lot of time, and what time i do have I'm easily distracted, add that to my love of Football and you have a customer. Like Meth the Redzone Channel can bring about a Euphoria because you actually see every Touchdown in Real Time. Touchdown Heaven, no Three and Outs; no bad times, no problems, who needs to focus on one thing intently..not me. Tim Tebow was just brought in to drive Mark Sanchez crazy, he's the first Made For Redzone Channel Celebrity. The NFL will pipe in the disaster ( i mean experiment) as it unfolds and if the throwing Fullback happens to bowl over a 180 lb. Cornerback i'm VIP at the Tebow Party. Now, one of the side effects of the RedZone channel is it skewers how you view other Sports-your less patient even with the criminally spectacular athletes in Basketball. Now i may not be a mental health professional but i do watch the drug commercials and have dated a therapist or two. From what i gather all of the drugs (Government sponsored or gangsta sponsored) all have side effects and the side effect meds are what Chris Rock likes to call "The Come back". So if the NFL is the Top Dopeman the rest of the major (and not so major) Sports need to get in the dope game and provide their own answers to the junked out Football Fan who cant sit through other sports. Here are a few suggestions....
 
The NBA Dunk Channel:
 
That's it, no more half court sets , it's not like cats can shoot like they used to anyway-most half court teams get low TV ratings. Their aren't any post players worth a damn to watch either, who wants to see Dwight Howard catch it and start looking as if he started playing basketball yesterday. The Dunk Channel will only chime in when an Ally oop is thrown or Fastbreaks-Point Guards like Chris Paul will be fitted with wristband cams that detect when he is throwin it up there for Blake Griffith or Deandre Jordan and you'll catch it right after seeing Lerbon finish on a fast break. Just sit there and watch Dunks all night, run the scores on the scroll and give the junkie an option to settle in on a game with a dunk screen inverted on the right hand corner. Dunk Panels on NBA TV feature Darryl Dawkins and Dominique Wilkkins sitting in a studio that looks like a Barber Shop doing what brotha's do- talk about who got they ass dunked on. A Posterized board at the end of the night listing the cats who caught it in the face sponsored by some Shaving Product.
 
MLB Star and Clutch At Bats, Tags at the Plate and Fence Cam:
 
Baseball is so far off of my Radar i can barely see any reason to mention it. I played as a kid, collected cards and actually watched the game of the week. Now i just cant sit there while a guy adjust his "area" and the pitcher goes through a ten minute routine; everybody involved in the process (umpires too) wants extended time to ritualized mundane shit. I do follow the game via SportsCenter , i perk up on the last day when teams are trying to clinch and I'm currently following the Yankees collapse to Baltimore. But what i really want to see is STARS, if i can just watch big name face-offs, throws at the plate and real time Home Run Robberies I'm good, got my Baseball in. I've been hearing about Mike Trout all year and i haven't seen one at bat, i shouldn't have to go to Youtube to see the next Mickey Mantle- i tuned in twice last Sunday and couldn't catch him once. MLB should handle that, i have a shaky trigger finger, i drink energy drinks and the Redzone Channel scrambled  my Frontal Lobe.
 
Boxing KTFO channel:
 
Gennady Golovkin's whole fight could have stayed on the KTFO Channel last week. You mean to tell me you cant put a chip/sensor in those gloves that can give me a direct feed when someone is about to go down? really?. How many of you watch the ESPN Classic mash-up of all of Tyson's Greatest KO's? and how many of you have turned to it over a live fight?.I'm a "purest" but often we watch fights here in the states only to find out somebody in Europe got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT and vice versa. I would subscribe monthly if i can just turn to a Channel and watch people get stunned or go down all around the world. When theres no action we are forced to listen to Corner Men or Blow By Blow men lie to us about what we are seeing. Punchers would make a big jump in marketability ("Money Maidana"?) and Promoters would match explosive fighters just to try and control the KTKO channel. "Styles makes Fights" would take on a whole new meaning, content will be king not Defensive Wizards who dull the senses. I saved Boxing for last because Boxing is the only sport capable of sustained action despite being the worst run. I can also see the other two sports stealing some part of my idea, calling me a crackpot and slapping on a new name like a good Goliath should. Boxing? not so much,  Boxing may be a great exploiter of many but too fractured to be enterprising.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

President Barack Obama's Remarks at the 2012 Democratic National Convent...


Thursday, September 6, 2012

10 REASONS MAYWEATHER VS. PACQUIAO WILL NEVER BE AS BIG AS LEONARD/HEARNS 1

 
 
Male Groupies, ESPN and Financial Magazines will be the only segments of the sporting public hailing Mayweather vs. Pacquiao as The "Biggest" Welterweight Clash of All Time, if it ever gets made. I have come to accept that people of my ilk will be drowned out during the run up to the fight because that's Boxing. The reason why I'll be drowned out  is because the Machine for that Fight will be all consuming and when precedent is desired many men get crushed under the weight. But Today? I'm in the drivers seat, you have to accept my sobriety because frankly the shit storm created by Mayweather vs. Pacquiao is now a Natural Disaster (consider me FEMA) with no sign of calming enough to realize YOUR DREAM.  You have to accept the fact that the biggest reason Leonard vs. Hearns was Superior is the fact that it actually went down because back then sanity "often" prevailed. And just in case you needed a primer regarding the differences between the two fights and the participants be aware of the following reasons your imaginary girlfriend will never be better than the one you really had.
 
 
 
Reason # 1:  It was scheduled for 15 Rounds.
 
The reason this is significant? everything that decided the fight happened in rounds 12-14, right about the time Mayweather calls Larry Merchant a "hater" and a "bitch". It also allowed the fight to play out in 3 parts (which I'll get to later) while a 12 round limit can allow for debacles like Oscar De La Hoya's last 5 rounds vs. Felix Trinidad in 1999. A 15 Round Limit would allow Manny Pacquiao to bank on a more sustainable plan of attack instead of rolling the dice early. Leonard vs. Hearns was in 1981, one whole year before the Doo Koo Kim tragedy, a whole year before a weight drained Hearns seemed to wilt in the "Championship Rounds". Humanely, it may have been the last great fight of the lower weight classes before very real concerns about dehydration and it's effects on the brain took center stage. As of this writing I'm not even sure two fighters in their upper 30's can give us what Tommy and Ray gave us over 13. Which brings me to my next reason.
 
Reason #2: YOUTH
 
Ray Leonard was 25 years old and Tommy Hearns 23, now think about that and ask yourself how in the hell do we fix our mouths to compare Pacquiao and Mayweather to  two men comparatively younger by a decade!. Full disclosure: I don't even count what happened to a fighter past 32 yrs. against him, yep, that means Antonio Tarver didn't beat Roy Jones, he beat Roy's older brother who kinda fights like him. When two young lions go at one another there is so much more on the line than money, when Leonard and Hearns faced one another it basically defined a generation. Mayweather and Pacquiao will merely be trying to replicate themselves; the beer and excitement will make you think they are moving "that fast" but do me a favor and pop in Mayweather vs. Judah or Pacquiao's first go around with Marquez and holla back. In this day and age when 2 men this age are at the Top of ANY sport (especially Boxing) Victor Conte should be brought in as a referee and consultant.
 
 
Reason #3 : SIZE
 
When this fight was viable (early 2010) Pacquiao was essentially still a junior Welterweight. Leonard and Hearns started their careers at the Welterweight limit, thus it would be ludicrous to compare two men 17 lbs. removed from their optimum performance to two men who were at their best. No more than Leonard vs. Hearns 2 can compare to this weekends Ward vs. Dawson Super Middleweight bout Manny and Floyd cant be considered a significant Welterweight battle Historically. Both men would look miniature next to Leonard and we don't even want to talk about Hearns who both men would have ducked like they did Paul Williams. Floyd likes to tell you he would have beaten Ray Robinson while just now filling out in his 30's at 150 lbs., by Robinson's early 30's he was the middleweight champion and gearing up to challenge Joey Maxim at Light Heavy. The leather that was thrown in 1981 was coming from much bigger men in lighter gloves and cant be compared to the two little guys in question.
 
Reason # 4 Real History
 
Ray Leonard was trained by Manny Steward for amateur Tournaments leading up to the 1976 Olympic Games. He even had a Kronk Gym nickname, "Super Bad"; Tommy was just a pup laying back in the cut, a gangly jab artist yet to discover that monster of a right hand. Floyd Mayweather knew Manny Pacquiao from under cards, theres professional envy but nothing like the animosity that festered in Tommy Hearns. You may follow Mayweather on Twitter and get the idea theres beef but the Internet is an alternative reality, the only "history" between these two is the one you help Floyd create. And speaking of the way modern pop culture here's the Elephant in the room of this discussion.
 
Reason #5 Network Television and CHILDREN
 
When i say "children" I'm not talking about the now socially acceptable 26 year old who lives with his parents and plays Video games all day. I'm talking about actual children you know the kind that cant buy alcohol or drive to a fight. I was one of those children in 1981, and  remember the "round 13 hands up" Ray Leonard picture because it lived inside my locker. It was there to signify my reign as the slap box champion of Jefferson Middle School.As children we watched Boxing on Network Television, you know Saturday afternoon when Joe Six-Pack was flipping between 3 channels. Boxing was mainstream and mainstream means children, we KNEW Ray Leonard's kid because he was co starring in a major 7-Up commercial with his dad. I saw features about Tommy Hearns on Network TV and it was a time when every major Newspaper still had a Boxing Writer. We may have this amazing technology right now but seriously show me one 12 year old kid who wants to be Floyd Mayweather the way i wanted to be Sugar Ray. Floyd Mayweather don't want to be Floyd Mayweather, if he could change places with 50 Cent or Lebron James tomorrow he would. Ray Leonard circa 1981 was in the same league as Magic Johnson or Joe Montana, two guys kids looked up to.
 
 
Reason #6 PED's
 
Steroids broke in the NFL in the late 70's early 80's by way of Lyle Alzado but it was 10 years before the juice took over baseball. In 1981 Ray Leonard and Tommy Hearns were still probably drinking two whole eggs like Rocky Balboa, weight training was still taboo in Boxing pre Holyfield. Boxing is rampant with positive tests and wide spread inuuendo-alot of it playing out in the three year saga that is Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. The money is bigger so the incentive to get an edge is greater and i dont believe anyone is above the fray. Mayweathers paranoia stems from the conventional wisdom that a man isnt supposed to carry power up in weight-Pacquiao's beheading of Ricky Hatton started the meter on this crap with no end in sight. Floyd's dubious politicization of the issue and his own bullshit testing protocol is an area of concern, as well as the one person who ever sued him without getting skewered publicly.... being an Anti Aging Guru. As i've stated in Reason 2 we should ask ourselves how we are foaming at the mouth to see two men in their mid 30's square off in the most demanding sport, shouldnt we?. I know, we are all getting better and "age (Cougars, Silver Foxes and many more demeaning animal names) aint nothin but a number"....but that only applies to sending younger women shirtless pics of yourself on your iphone..not Boxing.
 
 
#7 Leonard vs. Hearns was the Pure Boxer vs. Puncher clash
 
Mayweather vs. Pacquiao will pit a defensive genius against a one time volume puncher. Neither man is young like Tommy and Ray were, so don't expect them to switch roles if they fight. Floyd comes into the fight in 2013 with all of the advantages, the volume puncher is no longer punching in volume and he cant box. Manny cant be worried either, Floyd isn't going to do anything stupid and try to get him out of there if he's up on rounds. Leonard knew he was going to get hit harder than he'd ever been hit but it was his toughness that forced Tommy to actually outbox him. Mayweather is a great boxer but he is a better puncher off of his defense, he wont be looking to take Manny apart, only shut down his offense. Pacquiao will be billed as a puncher but he hasn't destroyed a man (with one shot) at the weight since Hatton and Ricky was a Jr. Welterweight. In fact the same goes for Mayweather. Hearns at 6'1 was the greatest right hand puncher the Division ever saw, that punch alone would get Pacquiao out of there and make Floyd curl up in fetal position.
 
#8 Promoter Cooperation
 
Bob Arum was brought in late in 1981 to handle the European PPV distribution, and he loved it. The Leonard vs. Hearns fight introduced a consortium of Promoters and many the Fight Game for the first time. The Duva's, Mike Trainer, Shelly Finkel and Bob Arum all worked together as a team because they knew the fight was a certainty. Now, there is a nasty side note about Trainer signing Leonard to the Hearns bout and raining on his last fight under Arum but that's another story. Eventually they compromised, and it took mere months to get done .Not so today, right now it's all about "in house" PPV shows and consolidating control-everyone wants to shut everyone out and their willing to turn something (a fight) into nothing (media bullshit) to achieve it. Don King and Bob Arum would come close to blows back in the day but like the politicians of old they knew how to sit down and make a deal. The personalization of today's rivalry is so toxic that 50 Cent entered the fray by publicly calling De La Hoya "girl", even King an ex inmate wouldn't introduce himself to "the craft" this way.  The three firms (Top Rank, TMT, GBP) who are supposed to get this done have been hellbent on annihilation instead of cooperation, cornering the market instead of growing the sport, something that we as Americans have been the victims of for 4 years by way of the Republicans.
 
 
#9 Local Followings
 
When Tommy sagged on the ropes in round 13 Detroit went through a depression years before Obama pulled out a blank check. Their hearts were invested in Tommy Hearns and they backed it up with their wallets. Motor City faithfuls lost homes back then because Tommy was the quintessential Motown product. He fought in or around the area 16 times before facing Leonard, in places like Cobo Hall where Berry Gordy would throw parties for the Temptations. The mythical destruction of Pipino Cuevas went down in Joe Louis Arena in front of a national TV audience, it wasn't uncommon back then to track a prospects rising by coming to HIS town. Mayweather through no fault of his own has no town, well if you could call Twitter a town then maybe. Floyd grew up in the Vegas/HBO model, by the time he made it to Motown in 2000 he was already a Champion and the "Network of Champions" were attempting to spin off a "Hip Hop meets Boxing" abomination that aesthetically ruined a war with Emmanuel Burton. Ray Leonard, already a darling fought in the Baltimore/Landover/DC area 8 times before facing Wilfred Benitez in 1979. In fact Floyd's daddy probably put himself on Leonard's radar due to a mid 70's stint at Steelworkers Hall in Baltimore. This weekend Andre Ward will face Chad Dawson in Oakland and he insisted several Super Six bouts brought to his backyard, another reason "SOG" is a throwback to a much better time in Boxing.
 
 
#10 Negotiations and Money as "News"
 
When Sugar Ray Leonard fought the big fights that defined him i was a child, i was into his shoe tassels and lightning fast hands. My buddy "Ice" was long and skinny, he related to Tommy Hearns-neither of us knew how much money they made. Replacing the child demographic we have the "d-bag demo" a group of guys who pay too much for drinks to impress women and yet like those women brag about another guys money. As we've become mindless consumers and materialistic drones the talk about what people have or will be getting actually became news. We even have "boxing" websites that defend a certain fighters market value-who cares?!!. Floyd to his genius understood that this change was occurring and marketed himself accordingly-he is his audience. Much of what we know about Mayweather vs. Pacquiao is money based, we actually root for them to win certain fights so they can enter the boardroom in jackass mode making the fight that much more impossible to make. 50/50 is not only an insult to Floyd but his fans are willing to threaten you on Facebook for insisting the compromise would end this madness- Stop Hatin Bitch!.Guys i know who dropped out of Jr. College are now wizards of finance and fight promotion and use douchebag general terms like "leverage" and "bringing this or that to the table" with annoying frequency. Don't get me wrong, making Leonard vs. Hearns was probably a bloodsport, but it didn't include the real time commentary of a million plus sycophants every 30 seconds...literally. It didn't include "Pooky" from around the way quoting PPV buys and questioning how "liquid" Pacquiao is. Mayweather may take 1,000 more pictures next to blocks of money a world banker can devalue with his blackberry while on the toilet before you see him posing with Manny Pacquiao and if it ever occurs I'll be here. To remind you AGAIN that Mayweather vs. Pacquiao (2014?) isn't CLOSE to being the fight that Leonard vs. Hearns was.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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