Dear Riley,
First off I’d like to send my condolences and prayers to you
Riley because you will need them in these unforgiving times. I also send them
to the poor woman who was merely trying to do her job on the day she was
unfairly slurred by you. We live in a time when technology has robbed us from
the opportunity to endeavor perspective and nuance, and the right to take a
fully developed picture of a situation and give it context. Sound bites can
tear through a person’s humanity and 140 characters can ruin a lifetime of
goodwill- Riley, you will have a long fight ahead of you and for that I wish
you emotional stamina and a true conviction for change. I don’t have to look at
your video more than once to put myself in your shoes; and I’m sad to say there
are anonymous MILLIONS old enough to be your parents who may be in your shoes at
some bar tonight.
It is part of a sick irony that technology now gives us
tremendous access to people we would have never been able to access in the past
and yet we are no closer to people like you. I’m sure right now part of this
bubble you live in makes you recoil in horror because there has to be something
evil about the worst moments of a person’s life being uploaded and “shared” in perpetuity-something
the devil had to have made. And yet in your darkest moment I do offer this
shred of light, you may have provided some black people clarification on a word
that seems to keep us all hostages due to its complicated, and mystifying contextual
history.
The Word NIGGER
You see Riley your young enough to be my son and Black folks
your age grew up hearing the word from people they admire, Rappers who have
money and access to a larger culture-people who can afford to be “Nigga’s”. A
lot of them can’t speak well, have over-tattooed their bodies conspicuously and
can hardly make it through an interview but them view the word as a benign
replacement for “friend”, “male” or “person”. They aren’t to blame Riley, and
I’m sure you’ve sweated and bled with a lot of “Nigga’s” yourself, those 20 something’s
were born that way based on what “we” of Generation X led them to believe. We
“OG’s” had little regard for our parents struggles when we were coming up in
the 1980’s and we took full advantage of the right to be ignorant, aimless and
unobligated to history. Black people in the 80’s were hell-bent on transcending
race so we left the word and it’s context to the young who (in typical
rebellion) commoditized it and made it “chic”-you know like a pair of Jordan’s.
There was more actual racism back then, and frankly the way you said that “word”
reminded me of the way I used to hear it (old school) from the Corvettes that
patrolled the white neighborhoods in my Midwestern hometown. It never seemed to
soften then, and we had little respect for the fact that we had the “right” to
confront those guys in the Corvette once we saw them again- we didn’t realize
20 years previous we’d have died for even thinking about retribution. We were a
generation full of inconsistency and hypocrisy Riley, we’d hunt those white
boys down while at the same time poking fun at any older person who actually
“lived” through Jim Crow. So I thank you for saying it with malice and vicious (yet
fitting) intent, the way the word was always meant to be said because at this
unique time in our history in America we needed to hear it.
Limousine Liberals and intellectuals can talk until they’re
blue in the face but nothing is more effective than the darkness WE ALL have in
our human spirit. We all have prejudices and hang-ups and they come up when
we’re “letting off steam”. They come out when we are amongst the tribe that “trendies”
at MSNBC tries to tell us no longer exists, our racial tribe. They also come up
in Black barbershops as quickly as they do at Kenny Chesney concerts, vile
words come up when we are comfortable. I would assume you have a lot of “steam”
competing in a violent competitive game, and playing a position that is
stereotypically played by blacks- welcome to the “not so welcome” minority
Riley. I’m sure in your environment you’ve seen all kinds of “darkness” and yet
Football gives you all (like Mike Vick) a chance to grow and work together for
a common cause, despite some of the faults and prejudices you’ve picked up
along the way. No wonder some view Football as the one true “religion” in
America. Black folks are far from an NFL team, because an NFL team is
intolerant of any lack of unity and focus- “Nigger” is one of the hundreds of
things we can’t seem to agree upon, and if we were a “team” we’d be 8-8,
talented yet often our own worst enemy. You grew up around “us” I’m sure of it,
so there’s no doubt our conundrum about identity confused you in some way indirectly.
I’m pretty sure our hang-ups about the word only contributed to the antilocution
you experienced growing up around your white peers, we may no longer be “strange fruit” Riley, but we are still a
strange people.
Just look at a former Eagle Hugh Douglass, and how easily
alcohol caused him to use hurtful slurs towards another black man, words that
date all the way back to Bullwhip days.
I forgive you Riley, and I know your contrition will aide you
in your sensitivity moving forward even though I don’t believe one can be
trained to be politically correct at all times. If we could all be cured of
hateful words (and attitudes) in 4 days we would all be mandated under
compulsory service to do so, in my case the 12 day package would suffice. Life isn’t politically correct and I’m sure
NFL locker rooms can be the least “correct” places in the world so hopefully
your teammates practice some empathy like they do “special teams”. Forgiveness
is a subjective art, and I’ve made the decision to view what you did as not
uncommon and certainly not out of the realm of youth- but I don’t to trust you
to hold on to the ball either. I choose to focus more on viewing your viciousness
and tenor as a “gift” to the confused community I hail from; a reminder that
nothing inherently ugly can ever be spruced up to resemble something beautiful.
Thanks to you the lipstick put on this “pig” by countless Rappers and 2
apathetic generations will never make that “pig” anything more than a pig. You
aren’t a Rapper, nor did you rationalize what you said, you were one drunk pissed
off dude who went for the vilest thing you can say in a moment of rage and I can
totally relate to that.
I can also relate to how disgusted you are in yourself right now;
and all of your real friends will see that and honor it-trust me I know. However
I can’t relate to power, the kind that stems from being white, male and wealthy
like yourself- I have more in common with the security guard you yelled at and
like her I won’t forget. I also won’t forget that your mistake can be a “teachable
moment” for us all, and we never get too old for self-examination. Instead of hating you we should see this as a moment of catharsis for ourselves, a moment too valuable to put a value on, and we all know Rappers don't do anything for free. Apathy is
the opiate for a myriad of sins, and without apathy the devil is never able to
do his “work”, in other words evil isn’t something you play zone against- and for
too long Blacks have played “Cover 2” on this word while you proved we should
always be in “press cover man to man”. And for this we (who see this for what
it is) thank you and I for one wish you nothing less than redemption.
Sincerely,
A Black Man
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